Catholic Engaged Encounter is a weekend retreat away with other engaged couples with plenty of time alone together to plan for a sacramental marriage. It is designed to give couples planning marriage the opportunity to dialogue honestly and intensively about their prospective lives together-- their strengths and weaknesses, desires, ambitions, goals, their attitudes about money, sex, children, family, their role in the church and society--in a face to face way.

What Happens on a Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend?

An atmosphere is created for the two of you to concentrate exclusively on each other, free of the distractions, pressures and interruptions of daily living – a "time out" away from home, friends, and wedding preparations. There are no group dynamics or group therapy. It is a quiet weekend, specifically designed to give you the opportunity to talk honestly and intensively about your future together – an opportunity to discover a deeper appreciation of your relationship and God's call to unite in a permanent union, the Sacrament of Matrimony.

The weekend consists of a series of presentations beginning Friday evening and ending Sunday afternoon. Led by a team of married couples and a priest, the two of you are encouraged to talk privately with each other on many aspects of marriage, always from the viewpoint of your own relationship.

Among the subjects you will have an opportunity to discuss with each other are your ambitions, goals, attitudes about God, sex, money, children, family, and your role in the church and community. Personal reflection and couple discussion are the main focus of our weekend. Since each relationship is in a different place, your private answers will be unique and special to your relationship.

Through personal sharings, the members of the presenting team talk about what the Sacrament of Matrimony means to them individually and the impact a great marriage can have on the world. We will not tell you how to live your life. Our stories are meant to encourage you to explore your own attitudes and expectations. We will offer some good ideas and tools to help the two of you to continue growing closer through the years.

Why Should We Go on A Weekend?

Our motto is a "A wedding is a day, a marriage is a lifetime." Think of all the preparation you have done for your career or job. Most us spend years studying or learning. Think of the preparation taken for your wedding day. Most people spend months planning and many dollars preparing for their wedding. But how much time and effort do we spend preparing for what we hope will last 50 or 60 years – our marriage?

Ask yourself this question, "Am I willing to spend 44 hours devoted to hearing ideas and learning skills that will help to make my marriage the best it can be?"

Here is an FAQ for a typical weekend.

This FAQ gives a very good general idea of what happens on a "typical" Catholic Engaged Encounter Weekend. This is from a commuity that presents Friday through Sunday afternoon weekends at Retreat Houses. Some communities hold weekends in hotels, and the logistics are different. Some communities begin their weekend on Saturday morning. Check with the local community through their website or contact them via e-mail.

Frequently Asked Questions about the EE Weekend

What should we bring to the weekend?
Please be sure to bring the following items with you:
• Comfortable casual clothing
• Toiletries, medicines and other personal items
• A snack and drink (e.g., soft drink, juice, water) to place on the shared snack table which will be available in the conference room
• Any snack or drink items for your own personal consumption

What supplies does EE provide for the weekend?
The following items will be provided on the weekend. You do NOT need to bring these items:
• Linens (towels, sheets, pillows, blankets, etc.) • Notebook and pen

What time should we arrive?
Please arrive between 7:00 and  7:30 if at all possible. The weekend will begin at 8:00 p.m. Because we are on a tight schedule, we cannot wait for couples who arrive late. If there is an emergency and you must be late, please call a presenting couple's cell phone (from your earlier phone conversation with them) or call the retreat center number. 

What time does the weekend end?
The weekend typically ends, with a closing Mass, between 3 and 4 pm on Sunday. In special or unusual circumstances, our schedule may change, but the weekend should still run no later no 4 pm.

Do we have to stay for the entire weekend?
It is very important that you stay for the entire weekend. If you arrive late or leave early you will miss important parts of the weekend experience, and we will not be able to give you your weekend certificate and letter verifying your attendance.

Are there any ground rules for the weekend?
Yes, we do ask that you observe a few basic rules.
• Please refrain from the use of alcohol and illegal drugs
• Please stay in your assigned room
• Please do not leave the weekend, for any reason, unless an emergency arises. If you need to leave, please speak to one of the team members.

Will dinner be served on Friday evening?
No, dinner will not be served on Friday. The dining room will not be open until Saturday morning. On Saturday, three meals (breakfast, lunch, and dinner) will be served. On Sunday, two meals (breakfast and lunch) will be served.

Can you accommodate my special diet needs?
Our cooks will do their best to accommodate your needs. If you are a vegetarian, please let a team member know. Also, when you arrive, or at breakfast on Saturday, please speak to the cook about your personal needs.

Will I have a roommate?
Yes, you will have a roommate of the same sex as yourself. This does not apply at a retreat center which has single rooms.  While we recognize that couples may already be living together, you will not be permitted to share a room with your fiancé while on the weekend.    

What will my room be like?
Your room will be very much like a college dorm room. It will have a bed, dresser, writing table, and perhaps a sink.  There are no locks on the doors.

What about shower facilities?
Common shower facilities are located in the hall. The shower facilities are also much like those found in a college dormitory. For this reason, we suggest that you pack toiletries in a carrying case. You may also want to bring shower flip flops.

What should we wear?
Dress for the entire weekend is casual. Please dress comfortably. While you are welcome to do so, there is no need to change for dinner or Mass.

Where can I smoke?
All of our facilities prohibit smoking. You may, however, smoke in the designated area outside of the building.

Will we have much free time this weekend?
No, the weekend is designed to be intense so that you can spend as much concentrated time together as possible preparing for your marriage. You may find that we stay up later and get up earlier than you typically would on a weekend. Time permitting, we will have a break on Saturday afternoon.

Is there an emergency number?
If you need to contact the facility because of an emergency, or if someone needs to get hold of you in an emergency, please use the phone numbers below. You can also contact one of the team couples who will be presenting your weekend at the numbers provided on the letter you will receive.

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