(Book 7)
CHAPTER
9
He Compares
the Doctrine of the Platonists Concerning the
Logos
With the Much More Excellent Doctrine of Christianity.
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7.9.13.
And first of all, willing to show me how you do “resist the proud, but
give grace to the humble,” and how mercifully you have made known to men
the way of humility in that your Word “was made flesh and dwelt among
men,” you did procure for me, through one inflated with the most
monstrous pride, certain books of the Platonists, translated from Greek
into Latin. And therein I found, not indeed in the same words, but to
the selfsame effect, enforced by many and various reasons that “in the
beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
The same was in the beginning with God. All things were made by him; and
without him was not anything made that was made.” That which was made by
him is “life, and the life was the light of men. And the light shined in
darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.” Furthermore, I read
that the soul of man, though it “bears witness to the light,” yet itself
“is not the light; but the Word of God, being God, is that true light
that lights every man who comes into the world.” And further, that “he
was in the world, and the world was made by him, and the world knew him
not.” But that “he came unto his own, and his own received him not. And
as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of
God, even to them that believed on his name”--this I did not find there.
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Et primo volens ostendere mihi, quam resistas superbis, humilibus autem
des gratiam, et quanta misericordia tua demonstrata sit hominibus via
humilitatis, quod verbum caro factum est et habitavit inter homines:
procurasti mihi per quendam hominem, inmanissimo typho turgidum, quosdam
Platonicorum libros ex graeca lingua in latinum versos; et ibi legi non
quidem his verbis, sed hoc idem omnino multis et multiplicibus suaderi
rationibus, quod in principio erat verbum et verbum erat apud deum et
deus erat verbum: hoc erat in principio apud deum; omnia per ipsum facta
sunt, et sine ipso factum est nihil; quod factum est, in eo vita est, et
vita erat lux hominum; et lux in tenebris lucet, et tenebrae eam non
conprehenderunt; et quia hominis anima, quamvis testimonium perhibeat de
lumine, non est tamen ipsa lumen, sed verbum, deus ipse, est lumen
verum, quod inluminat omnem hominem venientem in hunc mundum; et quia in
hoc mundo erat, et mundus per eum factus est, et mundus eum non
cognovit. quia vero in sua propria venit et sui eum non receperunt,
quotquot autem receperunt eum, dedit eis potestatem filios dei fieri,
credentibus in nomine eius, non ibi legi.
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7.9.14.
Similarly, I read there that God the Word was born “not of flesh nor of
blood, nor of the will of man, nor the will of the flesh, but of God.”
But, that “the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us”--I found this
nowhere there. And I discovered in those books, expressed in many and
various ways, that “the Son was in the form of God and thought it not
robbery to be equal in God,” for he was naturally of the same substance.
But, that “he emptied himself and took upon himself the form of a
servant, and was made in the likeness of men: and being found in fashion
as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the
death of the cross. Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him” from the
dead, “and given him a name above every name; that at the name of Jesus
every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and
things under the earth; and that every tongue should confess that Jesus
Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father”--this those books have
not. I read further in them that before all times and beyond all times,
your only Son remaineth unchangeably coeternal with you, and that of his
fullness all souls receive that they may be blessed, and that by
participation in that wisdom which abides in them, they are renewed that
they may be wise. But, that “in due time, Christ died for the ungodly”
and that you “sparedst not your only Son, but deliveredst him up for us
all”--this is not there. “For you have hid these things from the wise
and prudent, and have revealed them unto babes”; that they “that labor
and are heavy laden” might “come unto him and he might refresh them”
because he is “meek and lowly in heart.” “The meek will he guide in
judgment; and the meek will he teach his way; beholding our lowliness
and our trouble and forgiving all our sins.” But those who strut in the
high boots of what they deem to be superior knowledge will not hear Him
who says, “Learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and you shall
find rest for your souls.” Thus, though they know God, yet they do not
glorify him as God, nor are they thankful. Therefore, they “become vain
in their imaginations; their foolish heart is darkened, and professing
themselves to be wise they become fools.”
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Item legi ibi, quia verbum, deus, non ex carne, non ex sanguine, neque
ex voluntate viri, neque ex voluntate carnis, sed ex deo natus est; sed
quia verbum caro factus est et habitavit in nobis, non ibi legi.
indagavi quippe in illis litteris varie dictum et in multis modis, quod
sit filius in forma patris non rapinam arbitratus esse aequalis deo,
quia naturaliter id ipsum est: sed quia semet ipsum exinanivit formam
servi accipiens, in similitudinem hominum factus et habitu inventus ut
homo, humiliavit se factus oboediens usque ad mortem, mortem autem
crucis; propter quod deus eum exaltavit a mortuis, et donavit ei nomen,
quod est super omne nomen, ut in nomine Iesu omne genu flectatur
caelestium, terrestrium et infernorum et omnis lingua confiteatur, quia
dominus Iesus in gloria est dei patris, non habent illi libri. quod
autem ante omnia tempora et supra omnia tempora inconmutabiliter manet
unigenitus filius tuus, coaeternus tibi, et quia de plenitudine eius
accipiunt animae, ut beatae sint, et quia participatione manentis in se
sapientiae renovantur, ut sapientes sint, est ibi; quod autem secundum
tempus pro impiis mortuus est, et filio unico tuo non pepercisti, sed
pro nobis omnibus tradidisti eum, non est ibi. abscondisti enim haec a
sapientibus et revelasti ea parvulis, ut venirent ad eum laborantes et
onerati et reficeret eos, quoniam mitis est et humilis corde, et dirigit
mites in iudicio, et docet mansuetos vias suas, videns humilitatem
nostram et laborem nostrum et dimittens omnia peccata nostra. qui autem
cothurno tamquam doctrinae sublimioris elati non audiunt dicentem:
Discite a me, quoniam mitis sum et humilis corde, et invenientis requiem
animabus vestris, et si cognoscunt deum, non sicut deum glorificant, aut
gratias agunt, sed evanescunt in cogitationibus suis, et obscuratur
insipiens cor eorum; dicentes se esse sapientes stulti fiunt.
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7.9.15.
And, moreover, I also read there how “they changed the glory of your
incorruptible nature into idols and various images--into an image made
like corruptible man and to birds and four-footed beasts, and creeping
things”:
namely, into that Egyptian food
for which Esau lost his birthright; so that your first-born people
worshiped the head of a four-footed beast instead of you, turning back
in their hearts toward Egypt and prostrating your image (their own soul)
before the image of an ox that eats grass. These things I found there,
but I fed not on them. For it pleased you, O Lord, to take away the
reproach of his minority from Jacob, that the elder should serve the
younger and you mightest call the Gentiles, and I had sought strenuously
after that gold which you did allow your people to take from Egypt,
since wherever it was it was thine.
And you saidst unto the Athenians by the mouth of your apostle that in you
“we live and move and have our being,” as one of their own poets had
said.
And truly these books came from there. But I did not set my mind on the
idols of Egypt which they fashioned of gold, “changing the truth of God
into a lie and worshiping and serving the creature more than the
Creator.”
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Et ideo legebam ibi etiam inmutatum gloriam incorruptionis tuae in idola
et varis simulacra, in similitudinem imaginis corruptibilis hominis et
volucrum et quadrupedum et serpentium, videlicet Aegyptium cibum, quo
Esau perdidit primogenita sua, quoniam caput quadrupedis pro te
honoravit populus primogenitus, conversus corde in Aegyptum et curbans
imaginem tuam, animam suam, ante imaginem vituli manducantis faenum.
inveni haec ibi et non manducavi. placuit enim tibi, domine, auferre
opprobrium diminutionis ab Iacob, ut maior serviret minori, et vocasti
gentes in hereditatem tuam. et ego ad te veneram ex gentibus; et intendi
in aurum, quod ab Aegypto voluisti ut auferret populus tuus, quoniam
tuum erat, ubicumque erat. et dixisti Atheniensibus per apostolum tuum,
quod in te vivimus et movemur et sumus, sicut et quidam secundum eos
dixerunt, et utique inde erant illi libri. et non adtendi in idola
Aegyptiorum, quibus de auro tuo ministrabant, qui transmutaverunt
veritatem die in mendacium, et coluerunt et servierunt creaturae potius
quam creatori.
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(1)
FOOD of the STRONG
»cont
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FOOD
of the STRONG
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CHAPTER
10
Divine Things are the More Clearly Manifested to Him Who Withdraws
into the Recesses of His Heart.
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7.10.16.
AND being admonished by these books to return into myself, I entered into
my inward soul, guided by you. This I could do because you were my helper.
And I entered, and with the eye of my
soul--such as it was--saw above the
same eye of my soul and above my mind the Immutable Light.
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Et
inde admonitus redire ad memet ipsum, intravi in intima mea, duce te, et
potui, quoniam factus es adiutor meus. intravi et vidi qualicumque oculo
animae meae supra eundem oculum animae meae, supra mentem meam, lucem
incommutabilem:
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It was not the
common light, which all flesh can see; nor was it simply a greater one of
the same sort, as if the light of day were to grow brighter and brighter,
and flood all space. It was not like that light, but different, yea, very
different from all earthly light whatever.
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non hanc vulgarem et conspicuam omni carni, nec quasi ex
eodem genere grandior erat, tamquam si ista multo multoque clarius
claresceret totumque occuparet magnitudine. non hoc illa erat, sed aliud,
aliud valde ab istis omnibus.
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Nor was it above my mind in the
same way as oil is above water, or heaven above earth, but it was higher,
because it made me, and I was below it, because I was made by it.
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nec ita erat supra mentem meam, sicut oleum
super aquam, nec sicut caelum super terram; sed superior, quia ipsa fecit
me, et ego inferior, quia factus ab ea.
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He who
knows the Truth knows that Light, and he who knows it knows eternity. Love
knows it, O Eternal Truth and True Love and Beloved Eternity! you are my
God, to whom I sigh both night and day.
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qui novit veritatem, novit eam, et
qui novit eam, novit aeternitatem. caritas novit eam. o aeterna veritas et
vera caritas et cara aeternitas! tu es deus meus, tibi suspiro die ac
nocte.
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When I first knew you, you drew me up, that I might see that there was something to be seen, though I
was not yet fit to see it.
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et cum te primum cognovi, tu assumsisti me, ut viderem esse, quod
viderem, et nondum me esse, qui viderem.
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And you beat back the weakness of my sight,
shining forth upon me your dazzling beams of light, and I trembled with
love and fear.
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et reverberasti infirmitatem
aspectus mei, radians in me vehementer, et contremui amore et horrore:
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[
And
I found
]
that I was far away from you in the land of
unlikeness, as if I heard your voice from on high:
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et
inveni longe me esse a te in regione dissimilitudinis, tamquam audirem
vocem tuam de excelso:
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“[
THE
FOOD
of the STRONG
AM
I;
grow and you shall feed on me;
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cibus sum grandium:
cresce et manducabis me.
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you shall
not change me into yourself like fleshly food: instead
YOU
SHALL
BE
CHANGED
INTO
ME
]”
[sic:
"my likeness"]
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nec tu
me in te mutabis sicut cibum carnis tuae, sed
tu mutaberis in
me.
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And I understood that you
chasten man for his iniquity,
and make my soul to be eaten away as though by a spider.
And I said, “Is Truth, therefore, nothing, because it is not diffused
through space--neither finite nor infinite?” And you did cry to me from
afar, “I am that I am.”
And I heard this, as things are heard in the heart, and there was no room
for doubt. I should have more readily doubted that I am alive than that
the Truth exists--the Truth which is “clearly seen, being understood by
the things that are made.”
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et
cognovi, quoniam pro iniquitate erudisti hominem, et tabescere fecisti
sicut araneam animam meam, et dixi: numquid nihil est veritas, quoniam
neque per finita neque per infinita locorum spatia diffusa est? et
clamasti de longinquo: ego sum qui sum. et audivi, sicut auditor in corde,
et non erat prorsus unde dubitarem, faciliusque dubitarem vivere me, quam
non esse veritatem, quae per ea, quae facta sunt, intellecta conspicitur.
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(Book
7) CHAPTER
11
That Creatures are Mutable and God Alone Immutable.
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7.11.17.
And I viewed all the other things that are beneath you, and I realized
that they are neither wholly real nor wholly unreal. They are real in so
far as they come from you; but they are unreal in so far as they are not
what you art. For that is truly real which remains immutable. It is good,
then, for me to hold fast to God, for if I do not remain in him, neither
shall I abide in myself; but he, remaining in himself, renews all things.
And you are the Lord my God, since you stand in no need of my goodness.
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Et inspexi cetera infra te, et vidi nec omnino esse
nec omnino non esse: esse quidem, quoniam abs te sunt, non esse autem,
quoniam id quod es non sunt. id enim vere est, quod incommutabiliter manet.
mihi autem inhaerere deo bonum est, quia, si non manebo in illo, nec in me
potero. ille autem in se manens innovat omnia; et dominus meus es, quoniam
bonorum meorum non eges.
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CHAPTER
12
Whatever Things the Good God Has Created are Very Good.
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7.12.18.
And it was made clear to me that all things are good even if they are
corrupted. They could not be corrupted if they were supremely good; but
unless they were good they could not be corrupted. If they were supremely
good, they would be incorruptible; if they were not good at all, there
would be nothing in them to be corrupted. For corruption harms; but unless
it could diminish goodness, it could not harm. Either, then, corruption
does not harm--which cannot be--or, as is certain, all that is corrupted
is thereby deprived of good. But if they are deprived of all good, they
will cease to be. For if they are at all and cannot be at all corrupted,
they will become better, because they will remain incorruptible. Now what
can be more monstrous than to maintain that by losing all good they have
become better? If, then, they are deprived of all good, they will cease to
exist. So long as they are, therefore, they are good. Therefore,
whatsoever is, is good. Evil, then, the origin of which I had been
seeking, has no substance at all; for if it were a substance, it would be
good. For either it would be an incorruptible substance and so a supreme
good, or a corruptible substance, which could not be corrupted unless it
were good. I understood, therefore, and it was made clear to me that you
made all things good, nor is there any substance at all not made by you.
And because all that you made is not equal, each by itself is good, and
the sum of all of them is very good, for our God made all things very
good.
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Et manifestatum est mihi, quoniam bona sunt, quae
corrumpuntur, quae neque si summa bona essent, corrumpi possent, neque
nisi bona essent, corrumpi possent: quia, si summa bona essent,
incorruptibilia essent, si autem nulla bona essent, quid in eis
conrumperetur, non esset. nocet enim corruptio, et nisi bonum minueret,
non noceret. aut igitur nihil nocet corruptio, quod fieri non potest, aut,
quod certissimum est, omnia, quae corrumpuntur, privantur bono. si autem
omni bono privabuntur, omnino non erunt. si enim erunt et corrumpi iam non
poterunt, meliora erunt, quia incorruptibiliter permanebunt. et quid
monstrosius quam ea dicere omni bono amisso facta meliora? ergo si omni
bono privabuntur, omnino nulla erunt: ergo quamdiu sunt, bona sunt. ergo
quaecumque sunt, bona sunt, malumque illud, quod quaerebam unde esset, non
est substantia, quia, si substantia esset, bonum esset. aut enim esset
incorruptibilis substantia, magnum utique bonum, aut substantia
corruptibilis non esset. itaque vidi et manifestatum est mihi, quia omnia
bona tu fecisti, et prorsus nullae substantiae sunt, et simul omnia valde
bona, quoniam fecit deus noster omnia bona valde.
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CHAPTER
13
It is Meet to Praise the Creator for the Good Things Which are
Made in Heaven and Earth.
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7.13.19.
To you there is no such thing as evil, and even in your whole creation
taken as a whole, there is not; because there is nothing from beyond it
that can burst in and destroy the order which you have appointed for it.
But in the parts of creation, some things, because they do not harmonize
with others, are considered evil. Yet those same things harmonize with
others and are good, and in themselves are good. And all these things
which do not harmonize with each other still harmonize with the inferior
part of creation which we call the earth, having its own cloudy and windy
sky of like nature with itself. Far be it from me, then, to say, “These
things should not be.” For if I could see nothing but these, I should
indeed desire something better--but still I ought to praise you, if only
for these created things. For that you are to be praised is shown from the
fact that “earth, dragons, and all deeps; fire, and hail, snow and
vapors, stormy winds fulfilling your word; mountains, and all hills,
fruitful trees, and all cedars; beasts and all cattle; creeping things,
and flying fowl; things of the earth, and all people; princes, and all
judges of the earth; both young men and maidens, old men and children,”
praise your name! But seeing also that in heaven all your angels praise
you, O God, praise you in the heights, “and all your hosts, sun and
moon, all stars and light, the heavens of heavens, and the waters that are
above the heavens,”
praise your name--seeing this, I say, I no longer desire a better world,
because my thought ranged over all, and with a sounder judgment I
reflected that the things above were better than those below, yet that all
creation together was better than the higher things alone.
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Et
tibi omnino non est malum, non solum tibi sed nec universae creaturae tuae,
quia extra non est aliquid, quod inrumpat et corrumpat ordinem, quem
inposuisti ei. in partibus autem eius quaedam quibusdam quia non
conveniunt, mala putantur; et eadem ipsa conveniunt aliis et bona sunt, et
in semet ipsis bona sunt. et omnia haec, quae sibimet invicem non
conveniunt, conveniunt inferiori parti rerum, quam terram dicimus,
habentem caelum suum nubilosum atque ventosum congruum sibi. et absit, ut
dicerem iam: non essent ista, quia etsi sola ista cernerem, desiderarem
quidem meliora, sed iam etiam de solis istis laudare te deberem: quoniam
laudandum te ostendunt de terra dracones et omnes colles, ligna fructifera
et omnes cedri, bestiae et omnia pecora, reptilia et volatilia pinnata;
reges terrae et omnes populi, principes et omnes iudices terrae, iuvenes
et virgines, seniores cum iunioribus laudent nomen tuum. cum vero etiam de
caelis te laudent, laudent te, deus noster, in excelsis omnes angeli tui,
omnes virtutes tuae, sol et luna, omnes stellae et lumen, caeli caelorum
et aquae, quae super caelos sunt, laudent nomen tuum: non iam desiderabam
meliora, quia omnia cogitabam, et meliora quidem superiora quam inferiora,
sed meliora omnia quam sola superiora iudicio saniore pendebam
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CHAPTER
14
Being Displeased with Some Part; Of God’s Creation, He Conceives
of Two Original Substances.
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7.14.20.
There is no health in those who find fault with any part of your creation;
as there was no health in me when I found fault with so many of your
works. And, because my soul dared not be displeased with my God, it would
not allow that the things which displeased me were from you. Hence it had
wandered into the notion of two substances, and could find no rest, but
talked foolishly, And turning from that error, it had then made for itself
a god extended through infinite space; and it thought this was you and set
it up in its heart, and it became once more the temple of its own idol, an
abomination to you. But you did soothe my brain, though I was unaware of
it, and closed my eyes lest they should behold vanity; and thus I ceased
from preoccupation with self by a little and my madness was lulled to
sleep; and I awoke in you, and beheld you as the Infinite, but not in the
way I had thought--and this vision was not derived from the flesh.
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Non est sanitas eis, quibus displicet aliquid
creaturae tuae, sicut mihi non erat, cum displicerent multa, quae fecisti,
et quia non audebat anima mea, ut ei displiceret deus meus, nolebat esse
tuum quidquid ei displicebat. et inde ieret in opinionem duarum
substantiarum, et non requiescebat et aliena loquebatur. et inde rediens
fecerat sibi deum per infinita spatia locorum omnium, et cum putaverat
esse te, et eum collocaverat in corde suo, et facta erat rursus templum
idoli sui abominandum tibi. sed posteaquam fovisti caput nescientis, et
clausisti oculos meos, ne viderent vanitatem, cessavi de me paululum, et
consopita est insania mea; et evigilavi in te et vidi te infinitum aliter,
et visus iste non a carne trahebatur.
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Chapter
XV.—Whatever Is, Owes Its Being to God.
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21.
And I looked around at other things, and I saw that it was to you that all
of them owed their being, and that they were all finite in you; yet they
are in you not as in a space, but because you holdest all things in the
hand of your truth, and because all things are true in so far as they are;
and because falsehood is nothing except the existence in thought of what
does not exist in fact. And I saw that all things harmonize, not only in
their places but also in their seasons. And I saw that thou, who alone are
eternal, did not begin to work after unnumbered periods of
time--because all ages, both those which are past and those which shall
pass, neither go nor come except through your working and abiding.
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Et respexi alia, et vidi tibi debere quia sunt, et
in te cuncta finita, sed aliter, non quasi in loco, sed quia tu es
omnitenens manu veritate, et omnia vera sunt, in quantum sunt, nec
quicquam est falsitas, nisi cum putatur esse quod non est. et vidi, quia
non solum locis sua quaeque suis conveniunt sed etiam temporibus; et quia
tu, qui solus aeternus es, non post innumerabilia spatia temporum coepisti
operari, quia omnia spatia temporum, quae praeterierunt et quae
praeteribunt, nec abirent nec venirent nisi te operante et manente.
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Chapter
XVI.—Evil Arises Not from a Substance, But from the Perversion of the
Will.
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22.
And I saw and found it no marvel that bread which is distasteful to an
unhealthy palate is pleasant to a healthy one; or that the light, which is
painful to sore eyes, is a delight to sound ones. Your righteousness
displeases the wicked, and they find even more fault with the viper and
the little worm, which you have created good, fitting in as they do with
the inferior parts of creation. The wicked themselves also fit in here,
and proportionately more so as they become unlike you--but they harmonize
with the higher creation proportionately as they become like you. And I
asked what wickedness was, and I found that it was no substance, but a
perversion of the will bent aside from you, O God, the supreme substance,
toward these lower things, casting away its inmost treasure and becoming
bloated with external good.
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Et
sensi expertus non esse mirum, quod palato non sano poena est et panis,
qui sano suavis est, et oculis aegris odiosa lux, quae puris amabilis. et
iustitia tua displicet iniquis, nedum vipera et vermiculus, quae bona
creasti, apta inferioribus creaturae tuae partibus, quibus et ipsi iniqui
apti sunt, quanto dissimiliores sunt tibi, apti autem superioribus, quanto
similiores fiunt tibi. et quaesivi, quid esset iniquitas, et non inveni
substantiam, sed a summa substantia, te deo, detortae in infima voluntatis
perversitatem proicientis intima sua et tumescentis foras.
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Chapter
XVII.—Above His Changeable Mind, He Discovers the Unchangeable Author of
Truth.
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23.
And I marveled that I now loved you, and no fantasm in your stead, and yet
I was not stable enough to enjoy my God steadily. Instead I was
transported to you by your beauty, and then presently torn away from you
by my own weight, sinking with grief into these lower things. This weight
was carnal habit. But your memory dwelt with me, and I never doubted in
the least that there was One for me to cleave to; but I was not yet ready
to cleave to you firmly. For the body which is corrupted presses down the
soul, and the earthly dwelling weighs down the mind, which muses upon many
things.
My greatest certainty was that “the invisible things of thine from the
creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things
that are made, even your eternal power and Godhead.”
For when I inquired how it was that I could appreciate the beauty of
bodies, both celestial and terrestrial; and what it was that supported me
in making correct judgments about things mutable; and when I concluded,
“This ought to be thus; this ought not”--then when I inquired
how it was that I could make such judgments (since I did, in fact, make
them), I realized that I had found the unchangeable and true eternity of
truth above my changeable mind.
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Et mirabar, quod iam te amabam, non pro te
plantasma: et non stabam frui deo meo, sed rapiebar ad te decore tuo,
moxque diripiebar abs te pondere meo, et ruebam in ista cum gemitu; et
pondus hoc consuetudo carnalis. sed mecum erat memoria tui, neque ullo
modo dubitabam esse, cui cohaererem, sed nondum me esse, qui cohaererem:
quoniam corpus, quod corrumpitur, adgravat animam, et deprimit terrena
inhabitatio sensum multa cogitantem. eramque certissimus, quod invisibilia
tua a constitutione mundi per ea quae facta sunt intellecta conspiciuntur,
sempiterna quoque virtus et divinitas tua. quaerens enim, unde adprobarem
pulchritudinem corporum sive caelestium sive terrestrium, et quid mihi
praesto esset integre de mutabilibus, iudicanti et dicenti, hoc ita esse
debet, illud non ita: hoc ergo quaerens, unde iudicarem, cum ita iudicarem,
inveneram incommutabilem et veram veritatis aeternitatem supra mentem meam
conmutabilem.
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And
thus by degrees I was led upward from bodies to the soul which perceives
them by means of the bodily senses, and from there on to the soul’s
inward faculty, to which the bodily senses report outward things--and this
belongs even to the capacities of the beasts--and thence on up to the
reasoning power, to whose judgment is referred the experience received
from the bodily sense. And when this power of reason within me also found
that it was changeable, it raised itself up to its own intellectual
principle,
and withdrew its thoughts from experience, abstracting itself from the
contradictory throng of phantasms in order to seek for that light in which
it was bathed. Then, without any doubting, it cried out that the
unchangeable was better than the changeable. From this it follows that the
mind somehow knew the unchangeable, for, unless it had known it in some
fashion, it could have had no sure ground for preferring it to the
changeable. And thus with the flash of a trembling glance, it arrived at that
which is.
And I saw your invisibility [invisibilia tua] understood by means
of the things that are made. But I was not able to sustain my gaze. My
weakness was dashed back, and I lapsed again into my accustomed ways,
carrying along with me nothing but a loving memory of my vision, and an
appetite for what I had, as it were, smelled the odor of, but was not yet
able to eat.
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atque
ita gradatim a corporibus ad sentientem per corpus animam, atque inde ad
eius interiorem vim, cui sensus corporis exteriora nuntiaret, et quousque
possunt bestiae, atque inde rursus ad ratiocinantem potentiam, ad quam
refertur iudicandum, quod sumitur a sensibus corporis. quae se quoque in
me comperiens mutabilem, erexit se ad intellegentiam suam, et abduxit
cogitationem a consuetudine, subtrahens se contradicentibus turbis
phantasmatum, ut inveniret, quo lumine aspargeretur; cum sine ulla
dubitatione clamaret incommutabile praeferendum esse mutabili, unde nosset
ipsum incommutabile -- quod nisi aliquo modo nosset, nullo modo illud
mutabili certa praeponeret -- et pervenit ad id, quod est, in ictu
trepidantis aspectus. tunc vero invisibilia tua per ea quae facta sunt
intellecta conspexi, sed aciem figere non evalui, et repercussa
infirmitate redditus solitis, non mecum ferebam nisi amantem memoriam et
quasi olefacta desiderantem, quae comedere nondum possem.
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CHAPTER
18
Jesus Christ, the Mediator, is the Only Way of Safety.
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24.
I sought, therefore, some way to acquire the strength sufficient to enjoy
you; but I did not find it until I embraced that “Mediator between God
and man, the man Christ Jesus,”
“who is over all, God blessed forever,”
who came calling and saying, “I am the way, the truth, and the life,”
and mingling with our fleshly humanity the heavenly food I was unable to
receive. For “the Word was made flesh” in order that your wisdom, by
which you did create all things, might become milk for our infancy. And,
as yet, I was not humble enough to hold the humble Jesus; nor did I
understand what lesson his weakness was meant to teach us. For your Word,
the eternal Truth, far exalted above even the higher parts of your
creation, lifts his subjects up toward himself. But in this lower world,
he built for himself a humble habitation of our own clay, so that he might
pull down from themselves and win over to himself those whom he is to
bring subject to him; lowering their pride and heightening their love, to
the end that they might go on no farther in self-confidence--but rather
should become weak, seeing at their feet the Deity made weak by sharing
our coats of skin--so that they might cast themselves, exhausted, upon him
and be uplifted by his rising.
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Et quaerebam viam conparandi roboris, quod esset
idoneum ad fruendum te, nec inveniebam, donec amplecterer mediatorem dei
et hominum, hominem Christum Iesum, qui est super omnia deus benedictus in
saecula, vocantem et dicentem: ego sum via veritatis et vita, et cibum,
cui capiendo invalidus eram, miscentem carni: quoniam verbum caro factum
est, ut infantiae nostrae lactesceret sapientia tua, per quam creasti
omnia. non enim tenebam deum meum Iesum humilis humilem, nec cuius rei
magistra esset eius infirmitas noveram. verbum enim tuum, aeterna veritas,
superioribus creaturae tuae partibus supereminens, subditos erigit ad se
ipsam, in inferioribus autem aedificavit sibi humilem domum de limo nostro,
per quam subdendos deprimeret a se ipsis et ad se traiceret, sanans
tumorem et nutriens amorem, ne fiducia sui progrederentur longius, sed
potius infirmarentur, videntes ante pedes suos infirmam divinitatem ex
participatione tunicae pelliciae nostrae, et lassi prosternerentur in eam,
illa autem surgens levaret eos.
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Chapter
XIX.—He Does Not Yet Fully Understand the Saying of John, that “The
Word Was Made Flesh.”
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25.
But I thought otherwise. I saw in our Lord Christ only a man of eminent
wisdom to whom no other man could be compared--especially because he was
miraculously born of a virgin--sent to set us an example of despising
worldly things for the attainment of immortality, and thus exhibiting his
divine care for us. Because of this, I held that he had merited his great
authority as leader. But concerning the mystery contained in “the Word
was made flesh,” I could not even form a notion. From what I learned
from what has been handed down to us in the books about him--that he ate,
drank, slept, walked, rejoiced in spirit, was sad, and discoursed with his
fellows--I realized that his flesh alone was not bound unto your Word, but
also that there was a bond with the human soul and body. Everyone knows
this who knows the unchangeableness of your Word, and this I knew by now,
as far as I was able, and I had no doubts at all about it. For at one time
to move the limbs by an act of will, at another time not; at one time to
feel some emotion, at another time not; at one time to speak intelligibly
through verbal signs, at another, not--these are all properties of a soul
and mind subject to change. And if these things were falsely written about
him, all the rest would risk the imputation of falsehood, and there would
remain in those books no saving faith for the human race.
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Ego vero aliud putabam: tantumque sentiebam de
domino Christo meo, quantum de excellentis sapientiae viro, cui nullus
posset aequari, praesertim quia mirabiliter natus ex virgine (ad exemplum
contemnendorum terporalium prae adipiscenda immortalitate) divina pro
nobis cura tantam auctoritatem magisterii meruisse videbatur. quid autem
sacramenti haberet verbum caro factum, ne suspicari quidem poteram. tantum
cognoveram ex his, quae de illo scripta traderentur, quia manducavit et
bibit, dormivit, ambulavit, exhilaratus est, contristatus est,
sermocinatus est, non haesisse carnem illam verbo tuo nisi cum anima et
mente humana. novit hoc omnis, qui novit incommutabililatem verbi tui,
quam ego iam noveram, quantum poteram, nec omnino quicquam inde dubitabam.
etenim nunc movere membra corporis per voluntatem, nunc non movere; nunc
aliquo affectu affici, nunc non affici; nunc proferre per signa sapientes
sententias, nunc esse in silentio: propria sunt mutabilitatis animae et
mentis. quae si falsa de illo scripta essent, etiam omnia periclitarentur
mendacio, neque in illis litteris ulla fidei salus generi humano remaneret.
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Therefore, because they were written truthfully, I
acknowledged a perfect man to be in Christ--not the body of a man only,
nor, in the body, an animal soul without a rational one as well, but a
true man. And this man I held to be superior to all others, not only
because he was a form of the Truth, but also because of the great
excellence and perfection of his human nature, due to his participation in
wisdom.
Alypius,
on the other hand, supposed the Catholics to believe that God was so
clothed with flesh that besides God and the flesh there was no soul in
Christ, and he did not think that a human mind was ascribed to him.
And because he was fully persuaded that the actions recorded of him could
not have been performed except by a living rational creature, he moved the
more slowly toward Christian faith.
But when he later learned that this was the error of the Apollinarian
heretics, he rejoiced in the Catholic faith and accepted it. For myself, I
must confess that it was even later that I learned how in the sentence,
“The Word was made flesh,” the Catholic truth can be distinguished
from the falsehood of Photinus. For the refutation of heretics
makes the tenets of your Church and sound doctrine to stand out boldly.
“For there must also be heresies [factions] that those who are approved
may be made manifest among the weak.”
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quia itaque vera scripta sunt, totum hominem in
Christo agnoscebam: non corpus tantum hominis aut cum corpore sine mente
animum, sed ipsum hominem, non persona veritatis, sed magna quadam naturae
humanae excellentia et perfectiore participatione sapientiae praeferri
ceteris arbitrabar. Alypius autem deum carne indutum ita putabat credi a
Catholicis, ut praeter deum et carnem non esset in Christo anima,
mentemque hominis non existimabat in eo praedicare. et quoniam bene
persuasum tenebat ea, quae de illo memoriae mandata sunt, sine vitali et
rationali creatura non fieri, ad ipsam Christianam fidem pigrius movebatur.
sed postea haereticorum Apollinaristarum hunc errorem esse cognoscens,
Catholicae fidei conlaetatus et contemperatus est. ego autem aliquanto
posterius didicisse me fateor, in eo, quod verbum caro factum est, quomodo
Catholica veritas a Photini falsitate dirimatur. improbatio quippe
haereticorum facit eminere, quid ecclesia tua sentiat et quid habeat sana
doctrina. oportuit enim et haereses esse, ut probati manifesti fierent
inter infirmos.
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Chapter
XX.—He Rejoices that He Proceeded from Plato to the Holy Scriptures, and
Not the Reverse.
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26. By having thus read the books of the
Platonists, and having been taught by them to search for the incorporeal
Truth, I saw how your invisible things are understood through the things
that are made. And, even when I was thrown back, I still sensed what it
was that the dullness of my soul would not allow me to contemplate. I was
assured that you were, and were infinite, though not diffused in finite
space or infinity; that you truly art, who are ever the same, varying
neither in part nor motion; and that all things are from you, as is proved
by this sure cause alone: that they exist.
Of
all this I was convinced, yet I was too weak to enjoy you. I chattered
away as if I were an expert; but if I had not sought your Way in Christ
our Saviour, my knowledge would have turned out to be not instruction but
destruction.
For now full of what was in fact my punishment, I had begun to desire to
seem wise. I did not mourn my ignorance, but rather was puffed up with
knowledge. For where was that love which builds upon the foundation of
humility, which is Jesus Christ?
Or, when would these books teach me this? I now believe that it was your
pleasure that I should fall upon these books before I studied your
Scriptures, that it might be impressed on my memory how I was affected by
them; and then afterward, when I was subdued by your Scriptures and when
my wounds were touched by your healing fingers, I might discern and
distinguish what a difference there is between presumption and
confession--between those who saw where they were to go even if they did
not see the way, and the Way which leads, not only to the observing, but
also the inhabiting of the blessed country. For had I first been molded in
your Holy Scriptures, and if you hadst grown sweet to me through my
familiar use of them, and if then I had afterward fallen on those volumes,
they might have pushed me off the solid ground of godliness--or if I had
stood firm in that wholesome disposition which I had there acquired, I
might have thought that wisdom could be attained by the study of those
[Platonist] books alone.
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Sed tunc, lectis Platonicorum illis libris,
postquam inde admonitus quaerere incorpoream veritatem, invisibilia tua
per ea quae facta sunt intellecta conspexi; et repulsus sensi, quid per
tenebras animae meae contemplari non sinerer, certus esse te et infinitum
esse, nec tamen per locos finitos infinitosve diffundi, et vere te esse,
qui semper idem ipse esses, ex nulla parte nulloque motu alter aut aliter,
cetera vero ex te esse omnia, hoc solo firmissimo documento, quia sunt:
certus quidem in istis eram, nimis tamen infirmus ad fruendum te.
garriebam plane quasi peritus et, nisi in Christo, salvatore nostro, viam
tuam quaererem, non peritus, sed periturus essem. iam enim coeperam velle
videri sapiens, plenus poena mea et non flebam, insuper autem inflabar
scientia. ubi enim erat illa aedificans caritas a fundamento humilitatis,
quod est Christus Iesus? aut quando illi libri me docerent eam? in quos me
propterea, priusquam scripturas tuas considerarem, credo voluisti
incurrere, ut inprimeretur memoriae meae, quomodo ex eis affectus essem,
et cum postea in libris tuis mansuefactus essem, et curantibus digitis
tuis contrectarentur vulnera mea, discernerem atque distinguerem, quid
interesset inter praesumptionem et confessionem, inter videntes, quo
eundum sit, nec videntes, qua, et viam ducentem ad beatificam patriam, non
tantum cernendam sed et habitandam. nam si primo sanctis tuis litteris
informatus essem, et in earum familiaritate obdulcuisses mihi, et post in
illa volumina incidissem, fortasse aut abripuissent me a solidamento
pietatis, aut si in affectu, quem salubrem inbiberam, perstitissem,
putarem etiam ex illis libris eum posse concipi, si eos solos quisque
didicisset.
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Chapter
XXI.—What He Found in the Sacred Books Which are Not to Be Found in
Plato.
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27. With great eagerness, then, I fastened upon the
venerable writings of your Spirit and principally upon the apostle Paul. I
had thought that he sometimes contradicted himself and that the text of
his teaching did not agree with the testimonies of the Law and the
Prophets; but now all these doubts vanished away. And I saw that those
pure words had but one face, and I learned to rejoice with trembling. So I
began, and I found that whatever truth I had read [in the Platonists] was
here combined with the exaltation of your grace. Thus, he who sees must
not glory as if he had not received, not only the things that he sees, but
the very power of sight--for what does he have that he has not received as
a gift? By this he is not only exhorted to see, but also to be cleansed,
that he may grasp you, who are ever the same; and thus he who cannot see
you afar off may yet enter upon the road that leads to reaching, seeing,
and possessing you. For although a man may “delight in the law of God
after the inward man,” what shall he do with that other “law in his
members which wars against the law of his mind, and brings him into
captivity under the law of sin, which is in his members”?
You are righteous, O Lord; but we have sinned and committed iniquities,
and have done wickedly. Your hand has grown heavy upon us, and we are
justly delivered over to that ancient sinner, the lord of death. For he
persuaded our wills to become like his will, by which he remained not in
your truth. What shall “wretched man” do? “Who shall deliver him
from the body of this death,”
except your grace through Jesus Christ our Lord; whom you have begotten,
coeternal with thyself, and did create in the beginning of your ways--in
whom the prince of this world found nothing worthy of death, yet he killed
him--and so the handwriting which was all against us was blotted out?
The
books of the Platonists tell nothing of this. Their pages do not contain
the expression of this kind of godliness--the tears of confession, your
sacrifice, a troubled spirit, a broken and a contrite heart, the salvation
of your people, the espoused City, the earnest of the Holy Spirit, the cup
of our redemption. In them, no man sings: “Shall not my soul be subject
unto God, for from him comes my salvation? He is my God and my salvation,
my defender; I shall no more be moved.”
In them, no one hears him calling, “Come unto me all you who labor.”
They scorn to learn of him because he is “meek and lowly of heart”;
for “thou have hidden those things from the wise and prudent, and have
revealed them unto babes.” For it is one thing to see the land of peace
from a wooded mountaintop: and fail to find the way thither--to attempt
impassable ways in vain, opposed and waylaid by fugitives and deserters
under their captain, the “lion” and “dragon”;
but it is quite another thing to keep to the highway that leads thither,
guarded by the hosts of the heavenly Emperor, on which there are no
deserters from the heavenly army to rob the passers-by, for they shun it
as a torment.
These thoughts sank wondrously into my heart, when I read that “least of
your apostles”
and when I had considered all your works and trembled.
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Itaque avidissime arripui venerabilem stilum
spiritus tui, et prae ceteris apostolum Paulum. et perierunt illae
quaestiones, in quibus mihi aliquando visus est adversari sibi, et non
congruere testimoniis legis et prophetarum textus sermonis eius: et
apparuit mihi una facies eloquiorum castorum, et exultare cum tremore
didici. et coepi et inveni, quidquid illac verum legeram, hac cum
conmendatione gratiae tuae dici: ut qui videt non sic glorietur, quasi non
acceperit non solum quod videt, sed etiam ut videat -- quid enim habet
quod non accepit? -- et ut te, qui es semper idem, non solum admoneatur ut
videat, sed etiam sanetur ut teneat; et qui de longinquo videre non potest,
viam tamen ambulet, qua veniat et videat et teneat: quia, etsi
condelectetur homo legi dei secundum interiorem hominem, quid faciet de
alia lege in membris suis, repugnante legi mentis suae, et se captivum
ducente in lege peccati, quae est in membris eius? quoniam iustus es,
domine; nos autem peccavimus, inique fecimus, inpie gessimus, et gravata
est super nos manus tua, et iuste traditi sumus antiquo peccatori,
praeposito mortis, quia persuasit voluntati nostrae similitudinem
voluntatis suae, qua in veritate tua non stetit. quid faciet miser homo?
quis eum liberabit de corpore mortis huius, nisi gratia tua per Iesum
Christum dominum nostrum, quem genuisti coaeternum et creasti in principio
viarum tuarum; in quo princeps huius mundi non invenit quicquam morte
dignum, et occidit eum; et evacuatum est chirographum, quod erat
contrarium nobis? hoc illae litterae non habent. non habent illae paginae
vultum pietatis illius, lacrimas confessionis, sacrificium tuum, spiritum
contribulatum, cor contritum et humiliatum, populi salutem, sponsam
civitatem, arram spiritus sancti, poculum pretii nostri. nemo ibi, cantat:
Nonne deo subdita erit anima mea? ab ipso enim salutare meum: etenim ipse
deus meus et salutaris meus, susceptor meus: non movebor amplius. nemo ibi
audit vocantem: Venite ad me, qui laboratis. dedignantur ab eo discere,
quoniam mitis est et humilis corde. abscondisti enim haec a sapientibus et
prudentibus et revelasti ea parvulis. et aliud est de silvestri cacumine
videre patriam pacis, et iter ad eam non invenire, et frustra conari per
invia, circum obsidentibus et insidiantibus fugitivis desertoribus, cum
principe suo leone et dracone: et aliud tenere viam illuc ducentem, cura
caelestis imperatoris munitam, ubi non latrocinantur qui caelestem
militiam deseruerunt; vitant enim eam sicut supplicium. haec mihi
inviscerabantur miris modis, cum minimum apostolorum tuorum legerem, et
consideraveram opera tua et expaveram.
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(2)
SPIRITUAL ASCENT to HEAVEN
»cont
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SPIRITUAL
ASCENT
to HEAVEN
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BOOK
9
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CHAPTER
10.
Conversation He Had with His Mother Concerning the Kingdom of
Heaven.
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9.10.23 As the day now approached on which she was to
depart this life--a day which you knew, but which we did not--it
happened (though I believe it was by your secret ways arranged) that she
and I stood alone, leaning in a certain window from which the garden of
the house we occupied at Ostia could be seen. Here in this place, removed
from the crowd, we were resting ourselves for the voyage after the
fatigues of a long journey.
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Impendente autem die, quo ex hac vita erat exitura
-- quem diem tu noveras ignorantibus nobis -- provenerat, ut credo,
procurante te occultis tuis modis, ut ego et ipsa soli staremus
incumbentes ad quandam fenestram, unde hortus intra domum, quae nos
habebat, prospectabatur, illic apud Ostia Tiberina, ubi remoti a turbis
post longi itineris laborem instaurabamus nos navigationi.
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SACRA
CONLOQUIA
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HOLY CONVERSATION
Sarcophagus
Via Saleria,
mid-200s. |
We
were conversing alone very pleasantly and “forgetting those things which
are past, and reaching forward toward those things which are future.”
We were in the present--and in the presence of Truth (which you
art)--discussing together what is the nature of the eternal life of the
saints: which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, neither has entered into
the heart of man.
We opened wide the mouth of our heart, thirsting for those supernal
streams of your fountain, “the fountain of life” which is with you,
that we might be sprinkled with its waters according to our capacity and
might in some measure weigh the truth of so profound a mystery.
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conloquebamur
ergo soli valde dulciter; et praeterita obliviscentes in ea quae ante sunt
extenti, quaerebamus inter nos apud praesentem veritatem, quod tu es,
qualis futura esset vita aeterna sanctorum, quam nec oculus vidit nec
auris audivit nec in cor hominis ascendit. sed inhiabamus ore cordis in
superna fluenta fontis tui, fontis vitae, qui est apud te; ut inde pro
captu nostro aspersi, quoquo modo rem tantam cogitaremus. Cum |
9.10.24 . And when our conversation had brought us to the
point where the very highest of physical sense and the most intense
illumination of physical light seemed, in comparison with the sweetness of
that life to come, not worthy of comparison, nor even of mention,
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que ad eum finem sermo perduceretur, ut carnalium
sensuum delectatio quantalibet, in quantalibet luce corporea, prae illius
vitae iucunditate non conparatione, sed ne conmemoratione quidem digna
videretur,
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Dante
and Beatrice
ascend to
the Sun,
Bodleian Lib.,
Oxford,
MS.
Holkham
misc 48,
p. 113 |
WE
LIFTED ourselves with a more ardent love toward the Selfsame,
and we gradually passed through all the levels of bodily objects, and even
through the heaven itself, where the sun and moon and stars shine on the
earth. Indeed, we soared higher yet by an inner musing, speaking and
marveling at your works.
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erigentes nos ardentiore affectu in id ipsum, perambulavimus
gradatim cuncta corporalia, et ipsum caelum, unde sol et luna et stellae
lucent super terram. et adhuc ascendebamus, interius cogitando et loquendo
et mirando opera tua,
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And we came at last to our own minds and went
beyond them, that we might climb as high as that region of unfailing
plenty where you feed Israel forever with the food of truth, where life
is that Wisdom by whom all things are made, both which have been and which
are to be.
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et venimus in mentes nostras et transcendimus eas,
ut attingeremus regionem ubertatis indeficientis, unde pascis Israel in
aeternum veritate pabulo, et ibi vita sapientia est, per quam fiunt omnia
ista, et quae fuerunt et quae futura sunt.
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Wisdom is not made, but is as she has been and forever shall
be; for “to have been” and “to be hereafter” do not apply to her,
but only “to be,” because she is eternal and “to have been” and
“to be hereafter” are not eternal.
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et ipsa non fit, sed sic est,
ut fuit, et sic erit semper: quin potius fuisse et futurum esse non est in
ea, sed esse solum, quoniam aeterna est: nam fuisse et futurum esse non
est aeternum.
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And
while we were thus speaking and straining after her, we just barely
touched her with the whole effort of our hearts. Then with a sigh, leaving
the first fruits of the Spirit bound to that ecstasy, we returned to the
sounds of our own tongue, where the spoken word had both beginning and
end.
But what is like your Word, our Lord, who remains in himself without
becoming old, and “makes all things new”?
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et dum loquimur et inhiamus illi, attingimus eam modice tot
ictu cordis; et suspiravimus, et reliquimus ibi religatas primitias
spiritus, et remeavimus ad strepitum oris nostri, ubi verbum et incipitur
et finitur. et quid simile verbo tuo, domino nostro, in se permanenti sine
vetustate atque innovanti omnia?
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9.10.25 .
What we said went something like this: “If to any man the tumult of the
flesh were silenced; and the phantoms of earth and waters and air were
silenced; and the poles were silent as well; indeed, if the very soul grew
silent to herself, and went beyond herself by not thinking of herself; if
fancies and imaginary revelations were silenced; if every tongue and every
sign and every transient thing--for actually if any man could hear them,
all these would say, `We did not create ourselves, but were created by Him
who abides forever’--and if, having uttered this, they too should be
silent, having stirred our ears to hear him who created them; and if then
he alone spoke, not through them but by himself, that we might hear his
word, not in fleshly tongue or angelic voice, nor sound of thunder, nor
the obscurity of a parable, but might hear him--him for whose sake we love
these things--if we could hear him without these, as we two now strained
ourselves to do, we then with rapid thought might touch on that Eternal
Wisdom which abides over all. And if this could be sustained, and other
visions of a far different kind be taken away, and this one should so
ravish and absorb and envelop its beholder in these inward joys that his
life might be eternally like that one moment of knowledge which we now
sighed after--would not this be the reality of the saying, `Enter
into the joy of your Lord’?
But when shall such a thing be? Shall it not be `when we all shall rise
again,’ and shall it not be that `all things will be changed’?”
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Dicebamus
ergo: se cui sileat tumultus carnis, sileant phantasiae terrae et aquarum
et aeris, sileant et poli et ipsa sibi anima sileat, et transeat se non se
cogitando, sileant somnia et imaginariae revelationes, omnis lingua et
omne signum et quidquid transuendo fit si cui sileat omnino -- quoniam si
quis audiat, dicunt haec omnia: Non ipsa nos fecimus, sed fecit nos qui
manet in aeternum: -- his dictis si iam taceant, quoniam erexerunt aurem
in eum, qui fecit ea, et loquatur ipse solus non per ea, sed per se ipsum,
ut audiamus verbum eius, non per linguam carnis neque per vocem angeli nec
per sonitum nubis nec per aenigma similitudinis, sed ipsum, quem in his
amamus, ipsum sine his audiamus, sicut nunc extendimus nos et rapida
cogitatione attingimus aeternam sapientiam super omnia manentem, se
continuetur hoc et subtrahantur aliae visiones longe inparis generis, et
haec una rapiat et absorbeat et recondat in interiora gaudia spectatorem
suum, ut talis sit sempiterna vita, quale fuit hoc momentum intellegentiae,
cui suspiravimus, nonne hoc est: Intra in gaudium domini tui? et istud
quando? an cum omnes resurgimus, sed non omnes inmutabimur?
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9.10.26 .
Such a thought I was expressing, and if not in this manner and in these
words, still, O Lord, you knowest that on that day we were talking thus
and that this world, with all its joys, seemed cheap to us even as we
spoke. Then my mother said: “Son, for myself I have no longer any
pleasure in anything in this life. Now that my hopes in this world are
satisfied, I do not know what more I want here or why I am here. There was
indeed one thing for which I wished to tarry a little in this life, and
that was that I might see you a Catholic Christian before I died. My God
hath answered this more than abundantly, so that I see you now made his
servant and spurning all earthly happiness. What more am I to do here?”
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Dicebam
talia, etsi non isto modo et his verbis, tamen, domine, tu scis, quod illo
die, cum talia loqueremur et mundus iste nobis inter verba vilesceret cum
omnibus delectationibus suis, tunc ait illa: fili, quantum ad me adtinet,
nulla re iam delector in hac vita. quid hic faciam adhuc et cur hic sim,
nescio, iam consumpta spe huius saeculi. unum erat, propter quod in hac
vita aliquantum inmorari cupiebam, ut te Christianum catholicum viderem,
priusquam morerer. cumulatius hoc mihi deus praestitit, ut te etiam
contemta felicitate terrena servum eius videam. quid hic facio?
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